KOMPA! MAGAZINE

[NumberRon]

What would you do if you were in a relationship that you think has outlived it's usefulness or necessity. BUT, everytime you are with this person, Sexual Sparks Fly. You both know that your only reason for being together is your Sexual Compatibility. You know her/his Body like the back of your hand and she/he knows yours just the same. So, do you:
1. Just Kiss and Say Good Bye?
2. Milk it for a while longer, in other word, Have fun with Mr/Ms Rightnow while waiting for Mr/Ms Right?
3. Put up with the relationship or what's left of it, and let things happen on their own?
4. Officially break up with the understanding that we might make a "Bootie Call" to each other every once in a while, until the Relationship is completely out of our systems?
I am Looking for honesty and good arguments for your position. This is an hypothetical situation so there is no need to be conservative. Just let it flow.
_________________
Art is sometimes a Lie in the Interest or the Service of the Truth.
_________________
Art is sometimes a Lie in the Interest or the Service of the Truth.

[kafou]

Mezanmi ki radot saaaaaaaa, One Life to Live, ou sipoze tomber Fe Bagay, don't worry about all the other stuff nan moment kap braser ya.

Fe Bagay ak tout coeur nou.
_________________
JISKOZO EPI NINPOTKIJAN

A LA MANIERE DE MIZIK LAKAY
" OU DI OU CHAJE KLAS, ENBIN POUKISA OU PA ALLER FE LEKOL AVEK YO"

[CatDog]

kafou wrote:

Mezanmi ki radot saaaaaaaa, One Life to Live, ou sipoze tomber Fe Bagay, don't worry about all the other stuff nan moment kap braser ya. Fe Bagay ak tout coeur nou.

Why am I not surprise by your reply Kafou.

I was just about to open a post but my post would have been the opposite of yours. I hope you don't mind Numberron that I put my question in here instead of creating another post.

What would you do if every thing is going well except they are no sexual sparks? The sex is ok, but not great like the rest of the relationship.
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"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." George Carlin

[Chachou]

NumberRon wrote:

What would you do if you were in a relationship that you think has outlived it's usefulness or necessity. BUT, everytime you are with this person, Sexual Sparks Fly. You both know that your only reason for being together is your Sexual Compatibility. You know her/his Body like the back of your hand and she/he knows yours just the same. So, do you: 1. Just Kiss and Say Good Bye? 2. Milk it for a while longer, in other word, Have fun with Mr/Ms Rightnow while waiting for Mr/Ms Right? 3. Put up with the relationship or what's left of it, and let things happen on their own? 4. Officially break up with the understanding that we might make a "Bootie Call" to each other every once in a while, until the Relationship is completely out of our systems? I am Looking for honesty and good arguments for your position. This is an hypothetical situation so there is no need to be conservative. Just let it flow. _________________ Art is sometimes a Lie in the Interest or the Service of the Truth.

I think you first need to make the decision whether you are looking for a solid relationship or just looking to go with the flow and there is an understanding between the both of you that this is not serious.

The situation seems to dictate a purely sexual relationship and that is bound to fall apart sooner or later. There does not seem to be substance. If sex is the only overriding factor or the appeal thereof in a relationship, that relationship is bound to collapse.

To prolong the relationship without mutual understanding that it is purely sexual is wrong, because you are giving the other person false hope that you are still in love or have feelings other than sexual feelings for them.

In short my suggested solution to your problem would be:

a) if there is mutual understanding than keep on keeping on

b) if there is no communication of the "ONLY SEXUAL" feeling than you need to have a conversation about it.

c) if after the conversation the person decides all is fair in sex and games than hey you've got it made!

d) make sure if you are going to get into another relationship that you advise/warn the person of such--because that could inadvertently be hurtful even when there is mutual understanding.

Dear Abby......
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Peace,
Chachou

"The Brightest Future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches." Anonymous

[NumberRon]

Chachou, or should I say Dear Abby, I appreciate your input. As I mentioned, this is a purely hypothetical exercise. I am a grown man with considerable experience in the relationship dept. Making the hard decisions has never been a problem for me. The purpose of the post is simple. I have a few friends who are involved in these disfunctional relationships but refuse to walk away because of the sexual component that feel that they will miss. Just to be clear, these are people of both genders. So I am looking to find out how may people are willing to tolarate if not endure a bad relationship just because the sex is GOOOOD. I appreciate every one's input. Even if you are not experienced enough or has never been in this situation, your opinion is not just welcomed, it is requested. Chachou, once again, thanks for taking the time to "save" me
_________________
Art is sometimes a Lie in the Interest or the Service of the Truth.

[belchokola]

Ronald, the logical part of me, that voice of reason definetively wants to say number 1. So I'm picking this one.

Kiss him good bye....and bounce. The simple reason that it IS/WAS a relationship that has some sort of Emotions...sexual and I believe otherwise, it will make it very very hard to solely have a sex based relationship. I know about this all too well. The emotional side may try to convince and may likely outwit the logical side that it is OK to maintain a sexual relationship, ie booty call type thing.....when one should know good and well its not going to work out--in many instances!!!

When feelings are involved...it is perhaps in the best interest of both to cut their loses.....and cut ties.

If one does decide to have a booty call rel. Eventually ....and in some instances resentment may creep in. Thoughts such as... Why am I only good enough to bed down....and no longer good for a relationship?!?!?! Even if it is known why the relationship is not good. Its not healthy for both involved.

I know I've had this thought a time or two when I "convinced" myself it was STILL ok to do so....once again it is soooo much easier said than done. But sometimes wisdom is simply having the courage and strength to do what seems hard.

Since I'm on a roll...Ill quickly, add what both should do is take time out regroup and evaluate what went wrong? And how things may be different in a future relationship.

So no booty call....anyway booty calls are no strings no feelings....

Ok...back to my paper. I'm out! I couldn't help answering this one.....
_________________
~~Look past outer beauty, and into the mind and soul. That is the mark of true beauty~~

[NumberRon]

BelChoko, My Darling, I think you for your input. . I couldn't help but notice however, that as logical as you may be, you also want to "Keep it Real" and mention that it's often "easier said then done". That's very important because many of us don't take time to appreciate or even understand that what appears logical and simple for us may be complex and emotionally taxing for others. It took me a long time to realize that not all of us have the same level of emotional intelligence. I grew up thinking that common sense dictates all decisions, and emotions play no part in that process. Some of this way of thinking creeps back into brain more often than I want to admit but I make a real effort to understand. I understand way better how and why for instance someone can remain in an abusive relationship eventhough he/she knows that such a predicament is caustic and degrading. Thanks Love for your input.
_________________
Art is sometimes a Lie in the Interest or the Service of the Truth.

[NumberRon]

CatDog wrote:

I was just about to open a post but my post would have been the opposite of yours. I hope you don't mind Numberron that I put my question in here instead of creating another post. What would you do if every thing is going well except they are no sexual sparks? The sex is ok, but not great like the rest of the relationship.

CatDog, I honestly think that this is a much easier situation to handle. Teach each other. Make it fun, playful, interesting. Be more daring, more generous, but also more demanding. It may take time but you can turn anyone into a FREAK, better yet, your kind of FREAK. All that work is worth it if this is the person that you really want to be with and the feeling is mutual. It may take time but you will probably enjoy the fruits of your labor, hypothetically speaking . Thanks Darling for your participation. Come back with more.
_________________
Art is sometimes a Lie in the Interest or the Service of the Truth.

[belchokola]

you're welcome, Ron.
_________________
~~Look past outer beauty, and into the mind and soul. That is the mark of true beauty~~