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KOMPA! MAGAZINE The site for Haitian Music News as it happens, debates & more.
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CatDog
Joined: 12 Mar 2006 Posts: 3875 Location: Massachusetts |
Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 10:47 am Post subject: A white woman opinion of black women and a brother's respo |
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>
> Please take a moment and read this. Pretty Deep! Thumbs up to this
>black
>man. Enjoy.
>
>It seems that an article was written to Sister 2 Sister magazine by a
>Caucasian woman who requested a response from black men. I'm so glad she
>got what she asked for (and more) !!!
>
>Dear Jamie:
>
>I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers.
>I
>am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking,educated
>and
>loving. I just don't understand a lot of Black female's attitudes about
>our
>relationship.
>
>My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women
>were
>slim to none. As he said they were either too fat, too loud, too mean,
>too
>argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess
>baggage.
>
>Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached
>by
>Black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If Black
>women are so up in arms about us being with their men why don't they
>look
>at themselves and make some changes. I am tired of the dirty looks I get
>and snide remarks when we're out in public. I would like to hear from
>some
>Black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them.
>
>Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us. Charles
>Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams,
>Quincy
>Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier,Kofi Anan, Cuba
>Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne,
>Wesley Snipes...I could go on and on. But, right now, I'm a little angry
>and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us White
>women
>because so many of your men want us. Get your acts together and learn
>from
>us and we may lead you to treat your men better.
>
>If I'm wrong, Black men, let me know. Disgusted White Girl, Somewhere in
>VA.
>
>RESPONSE
>
>I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl.
>Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated
>from
>one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a
>Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a
>major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider
>myself to be among the ranks of successful black men.I will not use my
>precious time
>to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why
>black men date white women.
>
>Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white
>women
>was because they were considered easy. The black girls in my
>neighborhood
>were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost
>their
>virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait,
>brothers would lookfor someone who would give it up easy without too
>much
>hassle. So, they turned to the white girls.
>
>Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they
>are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of
>insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by
>the
>strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more
>successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own
>bigger houses. Because of this fear, many black men look for a more
>docile
>woman. Someone we can control. I have talked to numerous black men and
>they
>continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their
>white
>women. I just want to set the record straight.
>
>I want 'A Disgusted White Girl' to know that not all successful black
>men
>date white women. Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael
>Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth "Babyface"
>Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black
>women.
>And, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the
>spot light, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women.
>Ted
>Danson, Robert DeNiro, and David Bowie to name a few. I just don't want
>a
>disgusted white girl to be misinformed.
>
>Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of
>goddess.
>Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were
>ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves
>of
>Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs.
>
>Read your history! It was the black woman that taught you how to cook
>and
>season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to raise
>your
>children. It was black women who were breast feeding and raising your
>babies during slavery. It is the black woman that had to endure watching
>their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in
>jail.
>Black women were born with two strikes against them: being black and
>being
>a woman. And, through all this, Still They Rise.
>
>It is because of the black women's strength, elegance, power, love and
>beauty that I could never date anyone except my black Queen. It is not
>just
>the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the
>fact
>that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them.
>Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women.
>Their
>strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their
>ability
>to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they
>believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest
>potential
>while enduring great pain and suffering why I have fallen in love with
>black women.
>
>I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and
>envy
>more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you
>continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so
>proud
>to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin?
>
>Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with
>unnatural
>and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I
>think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the
>black woman has.
>
>BOTTOM LINE:
>
>If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and
>control,
>I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous
>Woman. Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children.
>Someone
>who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for
>a
>soul mate. I am looking for a sister and unfortunately, you do not and
>CANNOT fit the bill.
>
>No offense taken, none given.
>
>Signed, Black Royalty. _________________ "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." George Carlin |
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CatDog
Joined: 12 Mar 2006 Posts: 3875 Location: Massachusetts |
Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 10:48 am Post subject: |
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This was forwarded to me, not sure if it's true or not. I want to know, how you guys feel about this? _________________ "Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." George Carlin |
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belchokola
Joined: 12 Mar 2006 Posts: 114 Location: NY |
Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 1:36 pm Post subject: |
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Hello CatDog!
I have the actual Sister2Sister magazine in which this was written. When I read it I was appalled at the gall and audacity of "Miss Anne"for thinking she's the cat's meow, as a White women.
Yes there are Black men who will run and admire a White women simply because of what she is (as a White women) and not WHO she is... It's a pity, but such is life.
I'm glad that brotha responded accordingly and let her know what is up.
I believe that was written in 2002??If I'm not mistaken...DAMN SHAME too!!! Don't sleep like it or not.... racism and prejudice is alive and kickin. _________________ ~~Look past outer beauty, and into the mind and soul. That is the mark of true beauty~~ |
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konpaconvert
Joined: 13 Mar 2006 Posts: 7440 Location: FORT LAUDERDALE |
Posted: Tue Apr 04, 2006 2:03 pm Post subject: |
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Both sides have points that support their arguments but I think both have it all wrong in some areas and in others they are absolutely correct.
Comparing the black race to the white race is no easier than comparing men to women. And at hte end of the day, emotions run wild and things our taken out of context.
I think that any man who wouldn't date a women that he coudln't control is wrong, but at the same time I don't think that white women are the only race that a black men has control over, they're all races of women including black to would fit into this category.
Another thing that bothers with both arguments is the sterotyping going around by both sides. Using famous names to help support your argument is the last thing you should be doind becxause they always tend to dissappoint. FOr instance , although some of the famous guys have dated/married outside their race, how many of them are still together with that woman or even that race. At the same token, how many of our famous black power couples are still together.
And why is it just whites that are getting the blame (or accolade, depending on how you look at it) for balcks dating outside their race, Asians, Hispanics, Indians have all been heavily involved as well.
I personally think that a man (a true man) loves a woman not because of her skin color but whats inside/charracter. It is more common for a man to date a women within the race since they have similar lifestyles and upbringings but that doesn't limit them to one race. Interracial dating/marriages are fine with me and I think anyone who has a problem with it should mind their own business.
One last thing though, both wirters took jabs at each race's shortcommings and the truth of the matter is they each are right because a good percentage are exactly hw they are stated, but people usually tend to overlook those shortcommings as if its insiginificant when thats the perception thats going on. The Turth hurts, sometimes. |
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dschaeff03
Joined: 13 Mar 2006 Posts: 72 Location: Albany, NY |
Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 2:55 am Post subject: |
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I think both comments are partially true. Any woman of any skin color can be subjected to a man's control. As far as beauty, skin color are concerned it's relatively subjective. I, myself, have no preference in that regard. To me it's just two individuals view not to be confused with any sort of generality. _________________ Life is easy once you know it runs by principles. |
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SIROMYEL
Joined: 11 Mar 2006 Posts: 9967 Location: TAMPA |
Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 12:20 pm Post subject: |
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Quote: |
Both sides have points that support their arguments but I think both have it all wrong in some areas and in others they are absolutely correct.
Comparing the black race to the white race is no easier than comparing men to women. And at hte end of the day, emotions run wild and things our taken out of context.
I think that any man who wouldn't date a women that he coudln't control is wrong, but at the same time I don't think that white women are the only race that a black men has control over, they're all races of women including black to would fit into this category.
Another thing that bothers with both arguments is the sterotyping going around by both sides. Using famous names to help support your argument is the last thing you should be doind becxause they always tend to dissappoint. FOr instance , although some of the famous guys have dated/married outside their race, how many of them are still together with that woman or even that race. At the same token, how many of our famous black power couples are still together.
And why is it just whites that are getting the blame (or accolade, depending on how you look at it) for balcks dating outside their race, Asians, Hispanics, Indians have all been heavily involved as well.
I personally think that a man (a true man) loves a woman not because of her skin color but whats inside/charracter. It is more common for a man to date a women within the race since they have similar lifestyles and upbringings but that doesn't limit them to one race. Interracial dating/marriages are fine with me and I think anyone who has a problem with it should mind their own business.
One last thing though, both wirters took jabs at each race's shortcommings and the truth of the matter is they each are right because a good percentage are exactly hw they are stated, but people usually tend to overlook those shortcommings as if its insiginificant when thats the perception thats going on. The Turth hurts, sometimes. |
I couldn't have said it better. You know what, that girl had some nerve to write an article like that. I won't deny that. And it sure does make me feel good to know that a black brother was willing to stand up for us.
At the same time though, both sides made some sweeping statements and at the end of the day, I think we are all the victims here. Why can't balck men be free to be with whoever they want without worrying about me a s a blakc woman being mad or vice versa.
Black women need to start thinking that they are god's gift to black men. That they are the only race good enough for black men to marry. Black men, or any man for that matter, are free to marry whoever they want.
I think black men who feel that white women are the proof of their success or that black women are too ... whatever it is for them, are in for arude awakening.
But other than that, don't care who people are with, as long as they are happy, why should the rest of the world have a problem with it.
I guess we fought for integration, but we didn't intend for it to go as far as us sleeping in the same bedrooms and mixing our DNAs. |
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wonder
Joined: 11 Mar 2006 Posts: 309 Location: Florida |
Posted: Wed Apr 05, 2006 12:54 pm Post subject: |
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Well said Siromyel, not too many women would see it that way.
It is sad to say but we do have many educated and succesful black men who end up with women from another race. Most of the time if a man is educated, he's looking for an educated sister, but the problem with our educated sisters (many of them) they have that feeling that once they have an education they don't need a man. So who's to blame when some of the brothers go out and get a white, red or yellow woman _________________ Success is getting what you want; happiness is wanting what you get. |
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JenJen
Joined: 11 Mar 2006 Posts: 364 Location: Maryland |
Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 12:10 am Post subject: |
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Wonder wrote:
Quote: |
It is sad to say but we do have many educated and succesful black men who end up with women from another race. Most of the time if a man is educated, he's looking for an educated sister, but the problem with our educated sisters (many of them) they have that feeling that once they have an education they don't need a man. So who's to blame when some of the brothers go out and get a white, red or yellow woman |
That's interesting. Where are these educated black men??? I know plenty of educated black women who would love to have an available educated black man. The experience that I know of educated black women is that the pickings of available educated black men are slim the higher the black woman goes on the education and professional ladder. _________________
JenJen |
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belchokola
Joined: 12 Mar 2006 Posts: 114 Location: NY |
Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 9:55 am Post subject: |
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JenJen...I wholeheartedly agree with you. It seems as "Disgusted White Girl" pointed out that once some Black man reaches some level of success and or wealth. Black woman are no longer good enough for them. And many go in search of " the other"--other being Whites, Asians have recently become "in thing" among some men who want to date outside of their race.
I do not think it is because there are lack of available Black women...as society greatly indicates that Black women are OVERWHELMINGLY going into professional sectors--business, Health fields, law, etc etc. Wonder pointed out, there are some Black women who do become disenchanted with the dating scene...from their expereiences and may feel they do not "need" a man, but there are many Black women who have not given up hope on the Black man--or on relationships. And when she seeks one out....she is rejected as she doesn't meet his "preference" of a Blonde, blue eye, White female. What then is she to do?!?!?!?!?
I do not think Black men are obligated to date Black women...BUT I do think it is unfair to pass up a Black woman solely because a White women makes a "cute accessory" and will open up more doors for him... I've heard and seen this happeneing. There is a big difference Black men purposefuly, seeking a White women....and not one of his own. _________________ ~~Look past outer beauty, and into the mind and soul. That is the mark of true beauty~~ |
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SIROMYEL
Joined: 11 Mar 2006 Posts: 9967 Location: TAMPA |
Posted: Thu Apr 06, 2006 10:14 am Post subject: |
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Like I said, both sides have thier arguments and both arguments are true to a certain extent.
I think people should start looking for a mate rather than black man or woman.
It irks me when women say " I'm looking for a black man, " or vice versa.
People should start looking for a mate, someone to spend the rest of their lives with, someone whom they love, rather than someone of a particual r race.
Otherwise you are selling yourself short. |
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